It can be very difficult to tell someone you have an STI or HIV. Many people don't know the facts about STIs and make judgments based on what they believe is true, even though it may not be.
If you have an STI or HIV, you need to make sure your partner(s) are protected. You may choose to start by learning more about your STI, how it's transmitted and how it can be prevented. You should be honest and up front with your partner and/or potential partner(s) so they can make the choices they believe are right for them.
Scenario:
Fred and Jon meet and are getting along very well. They just seem to feel relaxed and happy being together. They begin kissing and then it develops into more sexual contact. Fred has intercourse with Jon and enjoys it a lot. He thinks to himself: "Fred is such a nice guy he can't be HIV positive, and besides if he was HIV positive he would not fuck me without a condom". Jon says to himself Fred is a nice guy; he must be HIV positive also or else he would not let me fuck him without a condom. Jon feels fortunate to have found a new lover who is also HIV positive. It is only after the sex is over that they talk more about having unsafe sex. Fred says he should have insisted on using a condom. Jon said he assumed Fred was already positive. Now Fred will get tested while both worry about the results.
What happened here?
- Fred made the assumption that because Jon is such a nice, happy guy he could not possibly be HIV positive.
- Jon decided that Fred must already be positive or he would have insisted on condom use.
- They needed to have a talk about safe sex and HIV status before they became intimate.
- Neither of them insisted on safe sex.
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